Thursday 13-#32

Thirteen things I hope to do if I get to go to the Ozarks this month. in life

1. The drive with music I want to listen to when I want to listen to it! Yes, most of the time Michael and I work it out but it usually ends up somewhere that we have to listen to some incredible headbanging music that I just don’t enjoy. Some of the old school yes…the new stuff, very little.

2. Geocaching…Yep gonna put my GPS and the new maps to work and hopefully pick up some travel bugs to bring back here or drop off down around my mother-in-law’s area.

3. Relaxing…water has always been a peaceful place for me.

4. Finding some clarity…between my health, Phillip’s situation with our grandchild, and unexpected marriage turmoil I have been incredibly stressed. It is a struggle to know what is the right thing to do with Phillip

5. Find comfort in being alone-having no one I feel I must take care of…or who feels they must take of me. Seems I can’t stop feeling like I should do this or should do that…or that I am a burden to others around me with my very down and sad state of mind plus physical pain. I hope to escape that. Being alone has never been my favorite thing but this will be a neutral place…I am really looking forward to it.

6. I want actually do some enjoyment reading. I have two books I have read a couple chapters into but left. Reading is a challenge with my double vision but maybe I can have some peace in my heart to help keep me calm enough to stick with and concentrate on one thing long enough to get through a book.

7. I would like to treat myself to one dinner out…I think I have chosen the restaurant but of course that could all change. I know it sounds silly but I want to know I can feel comfortable going out to eat by myself, plus it will be nice to eat something without having to clean up.

8. I am hoping to choose one activity to treat myself to. I am not sure which one. I am leaning toward a horseback ride. I have never been on a horseback ride. My second choice would be going through Bridal Cave.

9. Of course there is a great spa in the area but that is out of the question…can’t believe how expensive it is to get massages these days.

10. When I am done with my three days in the Ozarks I am heading to my mother-in-laws for about a week. While she is at work I will do some caching and place a cache as well.

11. I may also take my puzzle along. Since I have a roll up mat for it, why not take it along. I usually find puzzles relaxing but the problem is find a location to leave the puzzle that is out of the way.

12. Decide on school…what, when, and how I am going to do it.

13. Return home, refreshed…stronger…mentally more steady. Yes…that is what this trip is really about…is me…finding my strength…reminding myself I am strong…I am capable of overcoming major obstacles…right now this does not feel possible. I feel weak…like nothing really…but I am pulling myself up and looking for the strong, wise, loving, caring, and independent me.

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